Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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