get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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