Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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