4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just gift wrapped bread.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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