I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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