You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
