Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
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I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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