just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
