Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am one with the molecules
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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