Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
