i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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