We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
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She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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