I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
