So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
