I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
