he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
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Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Never underestimate the power of titties
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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