i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
