i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
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Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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