I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
