Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
