he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Who wears a wallet chain?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
