yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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