Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You took a bar mat shot.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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