Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
