If that was your dad, he is hot
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
