Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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