She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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