so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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