so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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