Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
