What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
