i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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