i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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