Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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