i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
