Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it glows. i had to have it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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