Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
