Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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