I think my vagina is haunted
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
