She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
