Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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