The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
