oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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