At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
