hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
