We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize