p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
