hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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