i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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