We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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