I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
