I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
