My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
