i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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