Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
