I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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