i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
