That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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