im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
try to milk me bitch
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