just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
