Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
