so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
