New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
